The Greatest House You Ever Knew

What being Slytherin means to me.

When I first thought to write about this subject, I did what any other Slytherin would do… I Googled my prompt and thought, “I could just reword this already written essay and take full credit. No one would ever know.” Slytherins are crafty like that. Why put in any unnecessary effort when there is a way to still get the job done and get recognized for it? “Those cunning folks use any means to meet their ends.”

But then I found a few things I disagreed with on that list, as any Slytherin would. We are fairly united within our house, but when we have our own individual opinions they will not be altered.

Until now Slytherin was the only house that hadn’t written on this subject. And I thought about this and I know why. Because we don’t care if others understand us or even like us for that matter. We know we’re awesome and don’t feel the need to express it…

… unless we are being directly compared to other houses, that is. Then we get a little defensive. Because Slytherin does not equal Death Eater. Slughorn? Snape? Regulus? All Slytherins that did their part to save the Wizarding World.

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We can keep our cool in stressful situations. (That may or may not be due to causing the chaos.) As Dumbledore noted we have, “a certain disregard for the rules.”

Slytherins are self preserving. It’s not that we don’t want to help save you, we just don’t understand why anyone would risk their own neck to do it.

A Slytherin will not argue with you. They know they are right and will make their opinion known, but they will not debate. This is how you will think you’ve won or that you’ve beaten us down. In truth, we just can’t be bothered to waste any more of our time on you.

“The results validate the deed,” would be a good motto for Slytherin house. We like to win and have the determination and ambition to meet or exceed our goals, even if that means circumnavigating the rules to get there.

Many people think Slytherin are cold or heartless, but that’s only to outsiders. We are fiercely loyal, but that loyalty is earned; friendship much the same. We don’t tend to make friends quickly, taking our time to get to know someone before they can become part of our inner circle. Those that do make it to that level will enjoy our sarcasm and dark humor. One of the marks of the Slytherin is our schadenfreude, or pleasure derived from the misfortunes of others. (I said we weren’t all Death Eaters, I never said we weren’t all a little bit evil.)

Just don’t piss us off, because we do hold grudges.

All of these things (and more) are what it means to be a Slytherin to me.

Also, we have Merlin. 🙂

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